His Mysterious Ways

"The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble;

and He knoweth them that trust in Him." Nahum 1:7

Last month, I was preparing for a Sunday school lesson on Nahum and as I was reading through the scriptures, this verse popped off the pages of my bible. I wrote it down and wanted to commit it to memory. It seemed to be one that would be easy to remember and would help me in those harder days of life.

Not more than a week later, my pastor did a Wednesday night bible study on this very verse. This seems to happen often. God really wants me to hear something out of the scripture, I think. At the end of last year, the same thing happened with the story of Abraham and Sarah. Which in this very moment, is a very interesting thought, knowing what this posting is really all about.

Can I just tell you that I serve, love, adore, and honor a wonderful God and Savior? He is awesome and loves me with every single inch of his great big heart.

Moving back to the point at hand, during our pastor's Wednesday night message, he noted that the scripture does say "a stronghold in the day of trouble". He put some emphasis on the "day" of trouble. Not days, but day. Meaning, we will have troubles but they will be short lived and even though they are shortlived, God is with us every step of the way. Wayne and I have had to live in a stuggle this past week.

Last Monday, I had some serious lower abdomen pain and excess spotting that didn't seem to be normal. I called my doctor and he wanted to see me as soon as possible. We would later find that there were some problems with our baby. The major problem? The baby was not in my uterus. Over the next day or so after blood work and an additional ultrasound, it was confirmed that I was pregnant, but the baby was in my fallopian tube. The doctor went over the scenarios and the next steps. I went into surgery on Wednesday to have the baby removed and later to find that he did have to remove my tube as well. We knew that may have to happen and honestly I wanted him to remove it. The chances of having another tubal pregancy were greater, once I had one. I knew that I didn't want to go through this again, if I didn't have to.

We can still try to have another child with just one tube. The fertility rate only decreases by 15% when one tube has to be removed. I do have a follow up appointment at the end of the month and I will make sure all of the questions are answered and what happened during the surgery is discussed.

Through many days of tears, wondering why, and a few bouts of anger, Wayne and I both rest knowing that our situation is in our Heavenly Father's hands. He knows His plan for our lives. Wayne reassured me of this the moment I told him I felt like something was wrong. Although I don't think it is fair, I know our baby is in the awesome hands of our Lord and Mema is probably holding it tight and giving it many kisses.

As I relive this week while I type this posting, this verse in Nahum rings in the forefront of my mind. God was with us all week, and continues to be with us. This trouble will pass, and I believe we will both be stronger for it. We will be able to help another family that may undergo the same situation. God's light will shine through - which is His greatest desire.

You live your life day-to-day thinking that something like this could happen to you but pray that it doesn't. It is something that is hard to take in and put your hands and heart around. We have lost our 2nd child. We never got a chance to hold it, kiss it, know for sure if it was a little boy or girl. But, I tell you this for sure, it was loved. Will always be loved and will never be forgotten. Until we meet again in paradise...