Just go away!

Conversation with my mom yesterday:

Mom: You have been home for 3 days and you still haven't blogged.
Me: I know.
(silent pause for thoughts)
Me: I have blogger's block.

Is there really such a thing as blogger's block? I have so MANY things that I could be writing about and I really did pull up the compose screen in blogger several times this week and just could not muster up any way to get started. Nothing. I was lying awake in bed Tuesday night and I was thinking about how I was going to start blogging about my recent trip. I had some good, ehem (excuse me, frog in my throat), great ideas. Did I get up to write them down? Nope. Did I turn my computer on to go ahead and type them up? Obviously not. Did I remember those thoughts the next morning? HA HA! Are you kidding? So, since those thoughts were apparently not as "grand" as I thought... I have been sitting here over the past few days wondering how in the world I should get back to my blogging. I have heard some say, "Just say what you feel." Well, I am sorry guys, but I am not so sure that you would want me to do that all the time! :) And if anyone knows me in the slightest bit, you should know that I have a slight bit of perfectionism in me (please take note to the smaller font in the last sentence, it was done on purpose). So, when a posting doesn't go just as planned, the whole thing just gets knixed (Is that the proper spelling?!?!).

So, are you thinking that I am trying to tell my mom something? Hence the title of this posting and our noted conversation? Hmmm... maybe? :)

Not hardly.

So, you are wondering why I have been home all week? Well, see I have really gotten into all of these blogs lately that are writen by SAHM's (excuse the jargon, that would be "stay at home moms"). Apparently, they are the only moms that have time to sit down and maintain a blog. So, I decided that it was my turn to join that group. They seem to have so much fun! One of them even blogged about being bored this week -- yes, that's right -- B-O-R-E-D!

Oh, hmm... If only that were true. Really, I have been terribly sick this week. But, before I proceed with that, I want to note that I truly think it is a blessing if you are able to be a SAHM. In a lot of ways, I desire that for my family, but at this point in time, that just is not feasible. Oh, and the blogger stating she was bored, it was followed up in her posting that being a SAHM can sometimes seem like you are in a constant rut... doing the same things every day and she was blogging about finding new things to do with her children and other SAHMs/friends. If you are interested in her blog, let me know and I will send you a link to her page. I really do not look down upon moms who are able to stay home, I just get a little frustrated sometimes -- wishing I had more time in my day to spend with my family. I never truly knew that desire until after I had Jackson.

Okay, off the formalities... and on to my ailments. Strep throat and pink eye. Does that sum it up? Two VERY contagious ailments and for me very painful ailments. Last night, it felt as though I had a tiny peice of glass in my upper eyelid that I could not get out. I ended up crying myself to sleep because I just wanted to be better. For the majority of this week, Jackson has been at my mom's. I miss him so much! He did stay here last night because we both think he sleeps better at home. Don't you? I do! We had so much fun, eating dinner together and him enjoying his bath. He has really started to play in the bathtub. Splashing around and throwing water everywhere. :)

Anyway, I was supposed to return to work on Tuesday after my trip (we'll get to that later). But I received the okay to stay out one more day because we were getting in so late Monday and I wanted to spend the day with Wayne, Jackson and Bo. I am glad that I did stay out the additional day. My throat started hurting worse and the pink eye (which started last Friday) was getting worse. So, to the doctor I went on Wednesday. She kept me out of work for Wednesday and Thursday. I knew that I had to take Jackson today for his 15 month appointment, so to make sure I made up time for that (especially since I had been out), I went in at 6 am this morning. I was able to go through my emails and get a few things done before the managers started coming in around 7:30. They all took one good look at me and told me that I needed to go back home. I am really not sure if I am still contagious or not, but they didn't want to take the chance. Then, I started to cry again. My eyes are really taking a beating, by the way. Crying this time out of frustration. I can do so much more at work than I can do here sitting on my couch. I really don't have the extra "sick time" to be out of work. What I am going to do if Jackson get sick later in the year. Wayne keeps telling me that they will probably work with me, and I know that is probably true, but I know also that there are rules and I cannot be an "exception" to those rules when it comes to leave time. So, I painfully made my way out and drove back home and napped for about 2 hours. I guess I needed it. I didn't get good rest last night. But, I want it all to "just go away"! As soon as possible. Jackson and I both ended up sick last Mother's day and on my birthday and I really don't want either of us to be this year.

Well, now that my eyes are burning and my head is starting to hurt, I better quit looking at this screen for a bit. I WILL be back to post about my trip. Stay tuned!