So, I really kinda felt bad about posting such a deep post last week. I really have had some time to soak it in and have some prayer over it. You know, our God is an amazing God and in a lot of ways I was reminded of that today at church.
In Sunday School, the topic was sacrificial giving and we had a lot of conversation around what people today consider sacrificial giving. The one thing that kept popping in my head was the giving of my time for others and/or in service of Christ. We also went over the scripture that tells of the poor woman giving all that she had and how God blessed her.
We began having conversation around considering others needs over our wants. The teacher also mentioned that we do have to understand that because our flesh may really want something, it doesn't mean that it is what we need. A question was presented from the teacher..."What are you praying for?" "Are you praying for a specific desire or are you praying for God's will in your life?" God is our father and he really does know what is best for our lives. He sees the whole picture just as our earthly parents tend to know the difference in our needs and wants.
I find myself, all too often, praying for my own desires. I need to understand that my desires may not necessarily be what's best for me and my family. I need to become more humble and really consider the whole picture in some areas of my life. Again, God really does know what is best for me. I just need to take the time to listen to what he has to say.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Why is it?
Why is it that when I feel like I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, it just seems to get pitch black again? At the drop of a hat…
I am really struggling this week. I am going to be blatantly honest with my posting today. I will probably let this one sit in the drafts folder for a while before it actually gets posted, because I am really laying my heart out. Almost being too open but this is my outlet. This is my open table. This is where I can just put my feelings out there and hope that most of you will just say a silent prayer for me. I worry a lot about what I put on this blog because, c’mon people, it’s the internet. I have NO idea who is reading this. Yes, I may see that I only have 5 followers but really they are the only ones that are willing to admit that they read my postings.
At the beginning of January, I made a commitment with myself, my husband and God that I would try harder to handle our finances better. We are trying to cut out all unnecessary monthly expenses and I think we have done all the “cutting out” that we can do. I am so sick and tired of living pay check to pay check. Do I know that I am not the only one that does this? Yes, of course I do, but I absolutely hate it. Yes, hate is a very strong word and I just don’t throw it out, but that is the word that has to be used here.
As we are coming upon the later part of January it seems as though our efforts are paying off just a little bit – efforts meaning cooking dinner at home every night, taking my lunch, not driving all over the place for unnecessary reasons. I think we have a very small nest egg (I am talking more like a tadpole egg) in our checking account until we get paid the next time. This would be considered our “light at the end of the tunnel”.
And then, a birthday for a special little man in our lives arrives. I thank God every day for the blessing that he gave us through Jackson. He means more to me than words could ever express. I will tell you that we haven’t been giving extravagant gifts to Jackson. Honestly, we just can’t afford it. And I know that he doesn’t care what he gets at this age, but as his mom, I want to be able to do everything for him.
So, yesterday on my lunch break, I ventured to Target to get his birthday party stuff. I was able to get him 2 toys and an outfit. Is that plenty, yes. And I am satisfied with my purchases, at this point, but to see my receipt. TO SEE MY RECEIPT!! I just cry. A co-worker of mine tells me not to worry, everything will work out. I know that it will. It is hard for it to sink in – especially when I don’t want to spend any money at all.
Then, I make a call to Jackson’s doctor because he has a horrible cough that is not getting better. It also sounds a little bit like croup. I was thinking that they could just send a prescription in to the pharmacy and we would be good. No, gotta take him in… especially if it is croup because he will have to get breathing treatments as well as maybe a steroid… another co-pay… on top of the costs of the prescriptions.
So, our tadpole egg has been cut in half and we still have another week before pay day. Now is where I would insert “pitch black”. Again. It is a never-ending cycle.
I am really not complaining, just venting. I know that we got ourselves in this situation on our own but we have to get out of it… and it will just take time and a lot of will power and prayer to get out of it. It is a lot like dieting, I guess.
I will need to take a few moments to reflect on the blessings through this.
1) Jackson is here and we are able to celebrate another birthday with him.
2) For the most part, he has been a very healthy baby/child.
3) We able to have very good insurance that covers the majority of our medical expenses.
4) We both have JOBS!
It really all could be worse. It is my prayer that I am able to overcome this darkness and see the blessings that do outweigh all of this. Thank you all for “listening”. Even all of you who don’t want me to know that you are “following” me. :)
I am really struggling this week. I am going to be blatantly honest with my posting today. I will probably let this one sit in the drafts folder for a while before it actually gets posted, because I am really laying my heart out. Almost being too open but this is my outlet. This is my open table. This is where I can just put my feelings out there and hope that most of you will just say a silent prayer for me. I worry a lot about what I put on this blog because, c’mon people, it’s the internet. I have NO idea who is reading this. Yes, I may see that I only have 5 followers but really they are the only ones that are willing to admit that they read my postings.
At the beginning of January, I made a commitment with myself, my husband and God that I would try harder to handle our finances better. We are trying to cut out all unnecessary monthly expenses and I think we have done all the “cutting out” that we can do. I am so sick and tired of living pay check to pay check. Do I know that I am not the only one that does this? Yes, of course I do, but I absolutely hate it. Yes, hate is a very strong word and I just don’t throw it out, but that is the word that has to be used here.
As we are coming upon the later part of January it seems as though our efforts are paying off just a little bit – efforts meaning cooking dinner at home every night, taking my lunch, not driving all over the place for unnecessary reasons. I think we have a very small nest egg (I am talking more like a tadpole egg) in our checking account until we get paid the next time. This would be considered our “light at the end of the tunnel”.
And then, a birthday for a special little man in our lives arrives. I thank God every day for the blessing that he gave us through Jackson. He means more to me than words could ever express. I will tell you that we haven’t been giving extravagant gifts to Jackson. Honestly, we just can’t afford it. And I know that he doesn’t care what he gets at this age, but as his mom, I want to be able to do everything for him.
So, yesterday on my lunch break, I ventured to Target to get his birthday party stuff. I was able to get him 2 toys and an outfit. Is that plenty, yes. And I am satisfied with my purchases, at this point, but to see my receipt. TO SEE MY RECEIPT!! I just cry. A co-worker of mine tells me not to worry, everything will work out. I know that it will. It is hard for it to sink in – especially when I don’t want to spend any money at all.
Then, I make a call to Jackson’s doctor because he has a horrible cough that is not getting better. It also sounds a little bit like croup. I was thinking that they could just send a prescription in to the pharmacy and we would be good. No, gotta take him in… especially if it is croup because he will have to get breathing treatments as well as maybe a steroid… another co-pay… on top of the costs of the prescriptions.
So, our tadpole egg has been cut in half and we still have another week before pay day. Now is where I would insert “pitch black”. Again. It is a never-ending cycle.
I am really not complaining, just venting. I know that we got ourselves in this situation on our own but we have to get out of it… and it will just take time and a lot of will power and prayer to get out of it. It is a lot like dieting, I guess.
I will need to take a few moments to reflect on the blessings through this.
1) Jackson is here and we are able to celebrate another birthday with him.
2) For the most part, he has been a very healthy baby/child.
3) We able to have very good insurance that covers the majority of our medical expenses.
4) We both have JOBS!
It really all could be worse. It is my prayer that I am able to overcome this darkness and see the blessings that do outweigh all of this. Thank you all for “listening”. Even all of you who don’t want me to know that you are “following” me. :)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
A little bit of worry...
So, tonight, I have a little bit of worry on my heart. I mentioned in a previous posting that my mom would be in Israel for Jackson's birthday party. Well, she left yesterday. This is definitely a once in a lifetime trip. I am so glad that she is able to travel as she does. She absolutely loves it. Many have asked if this is a mission trip and no, not specifically. This is actually a pleasure trip that an evangelist was heading up. There were about 25 people going but she was the only one from this area. She left from our local airport last night around 8 pm and was headed to Atlanta,GA where she was going to meet up with the rest of the group. The flight from Atlanta was going to be non-stop to Tel Aviv.
Usually when she goes away, she gives me a full itinerary including the hotel information. Last night before, I went to bed, I realized that I didn't get either of these things before she left. So, I am not sure if she made it there or not. With the 6 hour time difference it is hard for us to make phone contact as well. I did hear her say that she will probably have Wi-Fi in her hotel, so now I am just waiting on the email, blog posting, or note on Facebook telling everyone that she is okay. Mom, if you are reading this and you attempt to call, please call my cell, I will keep it with me all the time.
Until I hear from her, I will just have to continue to pray for her that she remains safe.
Usually when she goes away, she gives me a full itinerary including the hotel information. Last night before, I went to bed, I realized that I didn't get either of these things before she left. So, I am not sure if she made it there or not. With the 6 hour time difference it is hard for us to make phone contact as well. I did hear her say that she will probably have Wi-Fi in her hotel, so now I am just waiting on the email, blog posting, or note on Facebook telling everyone that she is okay. Mom, if you are reading this and you attempt to call, please call my cell, I will keep it with me all the time.
Until I hear from her, I will just have to continue to pray for her that she remains safe.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Bamboo-ology
Kristin Byrum is a college friend of mine that now has two photography businesses with her husband Aaron. One is a wedding photography business called Kristin Byrum Photography and the other is Bamboo Studios. She and her husband have been in photography for about 6 years now.
After many, many questions from inquiring minds about how photography really works and how should someone get started, Aaron decided to have a photography workshop this past Saturday. My mom purchased a seat in the workshop for me for Christmas. I was so excited about going. Not only to get more information about photography but to also catch up with Kristin and Aaron. I hadn't seen them in several years. I had a WONDERFUL visit and ended up learning a lot in the workshop. We were able to have a model and practice some shooting. Here are just a couple of my shots. Once I edit my others I will try and get them posted.
I think this one is a bit over exposed, but I love the dramatic effect of it all.
After many, many questions from inquiring minds about how photography really works and how should someone get started, Aaron decided to have a photography workshop this past Saturday. My mom purchased a seat in the workshop for me for Christmas. I was so excited about going. Not only to get more information about photography but to also catch up with Kristin and Aaron. I hadn't seen them in several years. I had a WONDERFUL visit and ended up learning a lot in the workshop. We were able to have a model and practice some shooting. Here are just a couple of my shots. Once I edit my others I will try and get them posted.
Love these even though her face looks washed out... the sun just gave us too much light... I am glad that I was able to join in on Bamboo-ology. I hope there are additional classes in the future. Just have to practice a WHOLE lot before then so that I can gain some added skills! Thanks Aaron and Kristin!
New do...
It was definitely time for Jackson to get his hair cut again. He was beginning to look like a shaggy dog. Really. Shaggy. So Thursday afternoon, I took him to get a trim. Well, for some reason, this time he seemed to be way more anxious about the hair trim and would not sit still. So after several attempts to use the scissors to cut his hair, Christine finally just pulled out the electric clippers and cut all the hair away. Well, not all of it, but it is now really short! But, I am not upset at all. I actually love it this short. He looks like a little man now. Guess turning two means that we need to get a 2-year old hair cut too!
before ... (with his "horns")
after ... with Ganga
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Guess what?!?!
Yay! Another year older... can you believe it? I sure can't. However, we are saddened because "Ganga" cannot be with us this year for the party. We will miss her but I am sure that she will be enjoying her once in a lifetime trip to Israel! We love you Ganga!Jackson's birthday isn't actually until the 27th so I am sure that I will be posting a few more things about the big day including pictures! I am also working on his letter that I will post on his birthday with his traditional "birthday picture". Yay! I am so excited!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Dinner.. Failed
Because of the profession that Wayne is in, he does have a “swing shift” type of job. Well, it just so happened that he was at work last night so, I had plans to fix dinner for just me and Jackson. Wayne was going to eat steak with the guys. I took out some chicken breasts because I always seem to find something to do with chicken. I do love to try new recipes – especially stuff with lots of starches. I know that they aren’t good for you, but they seem to make the best dishes, i.e., stuffing, rice, potatoes, etc. However, I usually do have to have a recipe in front of me, for the dishes to work… usually.
In conversation with a co-worker a few weeks back, she had mentioned that she makes a baked chicken dish with rice and, of course, chicken. So, I thought I would make my own rendition – keyword: thought. My ingredients: long grain rice, cream of mushroom soup (probably should have used cream of chicken because I have SOOO many more cans of that – but that topic is for another posting), and chicken. Oh, and little bit of milk. I called my mom before hand to see if I needed to add water to the rice and if I needed to cover the dish and she recommended that I cover the dish and that I could use some water, but not a lot. I did read the can paper for the cream of mushroom soup and it said that I could mix with milk or water, so I chose milk.
I pre-heated the oven to 350 degrees. Isn’t that the norm for everything? Remember, no recipe in front of me. I used my Pampered Chef square baking dish and mixed the rice and one can of cream of mushroom. Then I laid 3 chicken breasts on top of the combination then poured just a bit of milk on top of the rice… hoping it would seep in. I covered the dish with tin foil and put it in the oven for 30 minutes. Why 30 minutes you ask? Because that is how long the Shake-n-Bake packaging says that I need to cook my chicken breasts when I use that… Did I mention I do better when I have a recipe?
The timer goes off after 30 minutes and I take the dish out. (I really wish that I had pictures of this!!) I open the foil and the milk has not seeped into the rice as I had hoped… It was just as liquefied as it was when I put it on the rice. The chicken, however, did look done. In an effort to make the milk mix, I lifted the chicken breasts and stirred the milk into the rice mixture. I thought I would bake it a little longer to see if it would thicken up a bit. Ahh, then another thought… cheese… cheese would be great. I sprinkled some shredded cheddar cheese on top of the chicken and put it back in the oven (uncovered) for another 10 minutes.
After I pulled the dish out for the second time, I was really excited about tasting this new dish of mine. I cut one of the chicken breasts up for Jackson and tasted. It was pretty bland… plain chicken with cheese on top. Not sure if I was really expecting anything more. Then, I scooped out some rice to put on his plate. I tried a little bit of the left over rice on the spoon. … … … hmm… interesting. Crunchy rice. Almost so crunchy it seemed as though I was eating it from the bag. I tried some from another section of the dish. Hmm… more crunchy. So, Jackson got chicken nuggets (he would have preferred them anyway) and I had a chicken breast. Yummy. Did you catch the sarcasm?!?!
Moral of the story… probably should have mixed the milk in the rice and used a bit more than just 1/4 of a cup or so.
Second moral of the story… use a recipe!
In conversation with a co-worker a few weeks back, she had mentioned that she makes a baked chicken dish with rice and, of course, chicken. So, I thought I would make my own rendition – keyword: thought. My ingredients: long grain rice, cream of mushroom soup (probably should have used cream of chicken because I have SOOO many more cans of that – but that topic is for another posting), and chicken. Oh, and little bit of milk. I called my mom before hand to see if I needed to add water to the rice and if I needed to cover the dish and she recommended that I cover the dish and that I could use some water, but not a lot. I did read the can paper for the cream of mushroom soup and it said that I could mix with milk or water, so I chose milk.
I pre-heated the oven to 350 degrees. Isn’t that the norm for everything? Remember, no recipe in front of me. I used my Pampered Chef square baking dish and mixed the rice and one can of cream of mushroom. Then I laid 3 chicken breasts on top of the combination then poured just a bit of milk on top of the rice… hoping it would seep in. I covered the dish with tin foil and put it in the oven for 30 minutes. Why 30 minutes you ask? Because that is how long the Shake-n-Bake packaging says that I need to cook my chicken breasts when I use that… Did I mention I do better when I have a recipe?
The timer goes off after 30 minutes and I take the dish out. (I really wish that I had pictures of this!!) I open the foil and the milk has not seeped into the rice as I had hoped… It was just as liquefied as it was when I put it on the rice. The chicken, however, did look done. In an effort to make the milk mix, I lifted the chicken breasts and stirred the milk into the rice mixture. I thought I would bake it a little longer to see if it would thicken up a bit. Ahh, then another thought… cheese… cheese would be great. I sprinkled some shredded cheddar cheese on top of the chicken and put it back in the oven (uncovered) for another 10 minutes.
After I pulled the dish out for the second time, I was really excited about tasting this new dish of mine. I cut one of the chicken breasts up for Jackson and tasted. It was pretty bland… plain chicken with cheese on top. Not sure if I was really expecting anything more. Then, I scooped out some rice to put on his plate. I tried a little bit of the left over rice on the spoon. … … … hmm… interesting. Crunchy rice. Almost so crunchy it seemed as though I was eating it from the bag. I tried some from another section of the dish. Hmm… more crunchy. So, Jackson got chicken nuggets (he would have preferred them anyway) and I had a chicken breast. Yummy. Did you catch the sarcasm?!?!
Moral of the story… probably should have mixed the milk in the rice and used a bit more than just 1/4 of a cup or so.
Second moral of the story… use a recipe!
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