What a Monday

So, I was supposed to post this last night, but the idea of sleep just captured my attention much quicker than getting on my laptop to type this blog posting. So, here I am early Tuesday morning to update.

As I mentioned Sunday evening, I was updating the blog apperance again. Well, again, I got wrapped up into the design and didn't finish until about 1:15 am. Then, since I am trying to be a better wife and keep things picked up around my house, I did that very thing. So, my head didn't rest on my pillow until 2am Monday morning! Ahh! Why do I continue to do that to myself? I don't know. I do know that the diet pepsi that I had for dinner was probably not a good idea. Caffeine is really beginning to affect me like never before. I cannot have it after lunch any more or I will not be able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour that evening. The very disheartening thing about the whole sleep thing is that I was told in a sermon Sunday morning that stewardship is not only the giving of our money and our time, but it is also upholding our bodies which are for Christ. Getting enough rest was one of the bullet points in the message. Wow, was I really preached to!

Before I did fall asleep though, I did have to make sure my alarm was set with the volume all the way up. I couldn't over sleep again (as I did 2 days in a row last week). I will have to say that 5:30am came WAY too fast. But, I arose and jumped in the shower as quickly as I could. That seems to really wake me up. I was able to get Jacksons cups washed up and get his breakfast ready. I even had time to straighten my hair! When I let Bo out to do his morning routine, I noticed the display of clouds across the sky and knew that I needed to capture that. So, I got my handy dandy new camera out and took a few shots. I think this is the best of them...

And just a few minutes after I took this, the sun started peeping through the clouds. But, at that point, I didn't really have the time to get the camera back out. So, I just noticed the nice sunshine and went back to getting everything ready.

I managed to get Jackson to day care a bit early yesterday and so I got to work a few minutes early. However, that really didn't matter as I later realized through out the day. I felt so unaccomplished by 4:30pm. I really hate it when I feel like I just drive in circles all day spinning mud out from behind me. (Maybe today will be much more productive).

We had dinner with my brother and future sister-in-law. She fixed chicken breasts with french onion thingys wrapped around them. The chicken was baked and we had string beans and mashed potatoes. It was very delicious and it was nice to eat at home for a change. So, tonight... I will be taking out some chicken for chicken parmesean. I am having a hankering for it. Anyway, Jackson ate really good last night too. He also drank his milk really well too! My cousin gave him a straw sippy cup for his birthday and he seems to enjoy drinking his milk from that better than his normal cups.

Okay, I have to hurry.. he is waking up! After dinner we headed back home (Jackson fell asleep in my arms at my brother's). I laid Jackson in his bed and I laid on the couch to watch some TV. I don't think I watched anything for mor than 5 minutes until I was asleep. I do remember Wayne trying to get me up at midnight to get me to go to the bed and I starting talking about putting ice cream in the oven. It was hillarious. I remember him laughing so hard at me. I didn't get up though. I just laid there and slept until he finally went to bed around 2.

So that was my Monday. To end this post, I am going to show you a picture that just popped out at me when I was looking for my cloud pictures. I took this Sunday afternoon... but isn't he just so handsome?!?!

life changes after baby

I always knew that my life would change after having a child. It would no longer be about Wayne, myself, and Bobo... I was prepared for that. I knew that it was going to take 30 extra mintues to get out of the house, 3 extra peices of luggage, 6 extra car trunks in my car and so on... but did I ever really realize the emotions?

I have really had one of those days where I am not really having a so-called "pitty party day" but I am really emotional. Wayne keeps asking me to get out of my funk and I have just plainly stated, "if I could just cry, I would be better". Nothing really would strike the tears that I needed though. Until this afternoon when a couple of certain instances just combined on top of each other and it all just hit me.

This is how it all started. We went to church this morning and boy am I glad I did. I really gotta preachin' too. Pastor preached on being a milli-second too late in making a decision about your eternity. I don't want to go into much detail about that part of the sermon because that would be taking this blog session way off track. However, in part of his sermon, he reference abortion. This is a very soft subject for me, always has been and always will be -- even more so now that I have my own child. This is a soft subject because I have never understood why someone -- especially a baby's mother -- would have the heart to murder an/their unborn child. Yes, I said it: MURDER! I have always referred to abortion as murder and always will. Well, Pastor began referencing a story he read. He told of a woman who used to work as an ultrasound tech at an abortion clinic. Apparently, they monitor the baby when the procedure is done. She was in the midst of an abortion procedure one day and she watched a baby move as she held the monitor on the mother's belly. Then she watched the probe (murder weapon) insert the uterus. She then watched the baby try to move away from the probe. She then looked up to see a group of protestors outside and realized that she was meant to be out there. Pastor proceeded to say that the woman didn't work for the clinic much longer.

Today, I just sat and tears filled my eyes as he told that story. I relived the moment I saw Jackson in my belly during our ultrasounds and how much joy I had at that moment. Again, I just don't how could anyone hurt an innocent child like that. So, of course, at that moment I could just cry out like I really wanted too, so I held it in and the image remained plastered in my brain for the rest of the afternoon.

Then, as Jackson was napping, Wayne and I were watching a TV show on TLC today -- "Women of Broward County". Yes, you guessed it, it is a cop show and is tells the lives of the women officers that work for Broward County. I do find the show interesting sometimes, much better than COPS. Today just happened to be an episode that involved a kidnapped child. The missing boy was 3 years old and had several brain surgeries and was very prone to seizures. The mother had sole custody of the child and the father had his new fiance "kidnap" the child and take him on an airplane to California. The mother advised the officers that he shouldn't fly at all because of his conditions. They were able to get the boy before they got on the plane. The boy only had a shirt and a diaper on. When the boy and the mother were re-united, I teared up again. I just couldn't imagine the mental state I would be in if I ever lost Jackson in a kidnapping or something of the sorts.

Then a commericial for either a movie or a documentary show came on about hurt children. I think they were disabled, not hurt by another person. And, I had had it. The tears came and when Wayne asked what was wrong, my answer this time was "Why does everything have to be about a hurting/suffering child today?" I did cry and Wayne was the good husband in consoling me. He knew himself, that I just needed to get it out. When I did, I slept for about an hour and then I was fine. Jackson woke from his nap and we played, laughed, and I sang some while he danced.

I guess the moral of this is to NEVER take your life lightly. I have really started to see things in a different light now. Decisions are made differently. Thoughts come through my mind differently. Also, I have really pondered on this lately... Life is too short. Spend every moment you can with and loving your family and friends. Make sure your plans for eternity are set. Don't wait for tomorrow, because you might be a half a second too late.